Fat Balls

December 13, 2009

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My parents-in-law own a garden centre, and nothing enlivens my visits to see them more than to see a tray of fat balls for sale in the shop (yes, I know I have a juvenile sense of humour!)

Thus I particularly enjoyed this post (with the superb picture above) by master satirist The Lakelander on semi-professional Piers Fletcher-Dervish impersonator Ed Balls.

Bookmark The Lakelander’s blog. It’s great.

Don’t let us stop you, Prime Minister

June 20, 2009


Apparently Prime Mentalist Gordon Brown could ‘walk away from all this tomorrow’, a line which has no doubt caused people all over the country to cry “we just wish you would Gordon – please don’t hang around on our behalf”.

Apparently he wants to become a teacher after he leaves office (and presumably after the men in white coats have given him the all clear). Children of Scotland – be very afraid.

New Labour: A Sober Assessment by Bryan Appleyard

May 19, 2009

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The great Bryan Appleyard posts as follows on his unmissable blog, Thought Experiments:-

With Speaker Martin about to resign, it is a good time to list some of the achievements of New Labour since 1997.

1)They destroyed trust in politics by creating a culture of spin, bullying and manipulation culminating in the Damian McBride affair.
2)They failed to reform the National Health Service or, indeed, any public service.
3)They betrayed their own primary promise by increasing inequality.
4)They embarked on an ill-judged military partnership with an incompetent American administration.
5)They humiliated and under-funded the military.
6)They mismanaged the public finances, leaving us with massive borrowings in the face of the worst economic crisis in 80 years.
7)They permitted a coup, on the basis of bullying and threats, which installed the worst Prime Minister of my lifetime.
8)And now, with the resignation of Brown’s puppet Speaker, they have precipitated a constitutional crisis of historic proportions.
Have I missed anything?

Gordon Brown helps with the office chores…

April 24, 2009


Iain Martin, the only member of the Labourgraph’s political staff worth reading (and who is rumoured by Guido to be leaving, presumably to seek work with an actual proper newspaper) brings us this priceless report on the behaviour of the Prime Mentalist.

“The strain shows, say current and former Brown aides: Among other things, it has inflamed a temper that has always been the subject of gallows humor among those who work with him, they say. The prime minister, 58, has hurled pens and even a stapler at aides, according to one; he says he once saw the leader of Britain’s 61 million people shove a laser printer off a desk in a rage. Another aide was warned to watch out for “flying Nokias” when he joined Brown’s team. One staffer says a colleague developed a technique called a “news sandwich” — first telling the prime minister about a recent piece of good coverage before delivering bad news, and then moving quickly to tell him about something good coming soon. Brown’s spokesman, Michael Ellam, declined to comment.”

PS I was told by a usually very reliable Labour source that Brown, helping out with the stapling, had at one point lost his temper and actually stapled his own hand by mistake. That simply cannot be true and I refuse to believe it.”

You couldn’t make it up. 14 months to go, unless the men in white coats intervene first.