More Invertebrate Horror!

July 17, 2009

Dosidicus_gigas.jpg First it was the ants, and now the Squid are getting in on the act. The Telegraph (among numerous other media outlets) reports that Humboldt (or Jumbo) Squid have been turning up off San Diego where they have taken to attacking divers.

It seems that the horrible tentacled brutes have been assaulting the divers, pulling at their gear and masks. One woman called Shanda Magill had her buoyancy hose ripped away and her light stolen by the sub-aquatic hooligans. Given that the squids in question can grow to 5 feet long and weight more than 7 stone, the safest thing to do is probably to give into their demands and hope they go away – particularly as they can hunt in schools of up to 1200, and can skim along the surface of the water to escape predators.

Still, it could be worse. If this lot get involved we will be in real trouble (artists impression below)

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Run for your lives… the ANTS ARE COMING!

July 4, 2009

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Photo by Penarc, via Wikipedia

The BBC brings us disturbing news of the ongoing activities of the fiendish Argentine Ants, who appear to be in the throes of a diabolical and well advanced plan to take over the world, one leaf at a time.

It seems that the appalling brutes all form part of one globe-spanning mega-colony, and that when ants from the sinisterly named Californian and European Super-colonies meet with colleagues from the Japanese colony rather than fighting they act as though they were old friends.

It’s not hard to imagine that somewhere on the Argentine pampas, deep inside the original hive, lurks an unusually large ant with a scarred face, sitting in a tiny leather chair, stroking a tiny white cat, while cackling in a chilling manner. Meanwhile his minions, clad in little brightly-coloured boiler suits, scurry hither and yon to do his bidding, while John Barry music plays in the background.

All of this raises the question – WHAT ARE THEY UP TO?

And HOW CAN WE STOP THEM?

(Other than by using a very, very, very large kettle of boiling water, obviously. )

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Pictured – The natural enemy of the Ant, the Kettle of Boiling Water (this rather nice one designed by architect Michael Graves)


Medic!

May 18, 2009

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It’s been an interesting day chez Fleet.

I put my back out big time on Saturday, and have spent Sunday and Monday horizontal on my bed, but for a visit to see Hilary the Chiropractor, who has manipulated me. Time will tell whether it will make any difference! Miss Fleet (4) then spent all night being sick everywhere, while Rothmans is in the midst of teething and thus has a temper on her which makes Gordon Brown look mild mannered by comparison.

Then to cap it all I was attacked by a velour octopus.

On the plus side there are chips for dinner.